…sounds big and terrifying but it doesn’t have to be. Promise. I kept hearing this phrase on repeat every time I came across a new self development book or podcast. Either that or “leap and the net shall appear” – words to the same effect. Urgh. That BS again. Basically, go and do something that feels kind of right but simultaneously scares the shit out of you, having no idea what the consequences will be but trusting in some power greater than you that the outcome has been taken care of and is also likely worth the struggle. That’s a pretty big ask.
Creative block or something else?
When I tried to relate this to creating my leather goods brand, Mischief and Hide, I assumed the real leap of faith was dealing with all the formalities of starting a business. I avoided them, overthought them, then told myself ‘no wonder things aren’t going too smoothly, I’ve still got one foot out the door here!’
To a certain extent this is true. Whilst I felt compelled to create and obsessed over the details of my future brand, at the same time I felt such a huge resistance that I just could not bring myself to make it happen. I dabbled, I dithered, I pretended I was doing what lit me up and that one day it would begin to feel like a real business rather than just a hobby.
But that moment never came and the more I tried to force myself to produce the goods or create the content, the more I began to withdraw from the vision…
Feeling despondent and a bit like a failure, I put my foot on the brake and waited for a surge of creativity to hit. When none came, I tried the opposite, surrounding myself with leather and hardware and tried to coax it back through sheer willingness. Still nothing. In the meantime I drew an Oracle card* called ‘The Crumbling’ which asked me “what do you need to let go of in order to move forward?” Erm, my leather work? I thought to myself.
“what do you need to let go of in order to move forward?”
Letting go
OK then, let’s try this I thought. What have I got to lose? I stopped trying to come up with fantastic new designs. I stopped shutting myself in my basement to work, only to return upstairs disappointed and deflated. And I stopped stressing over the sales I wasn’t making and beating myself up for not doing enough.
I gave myself permission to try something new, without any attachment to the outcome; I dedicated more time to my coaching studies; I spruced up my dusty website and wrote new content for my blog, until then virtually untouched in the last couple of years. It felt good! And I decided that I had had enough of talking about ideas without ever bringing them to fruition too. I had to start that podcast I’d dreamt about 2 years ago…
Those first two interviews were hesitant conversations, riddled with nervous giggles, but already by the third I was beginning to feel like I could do this. It felt natural, easy and exciting all at the same time. I loved the fact I had cart blanche over the questions and I could quiz my guest on anything and everything! It wasn’t until after the recording ended that this particular guest asked me a question “how’s it going with your business?” It stung a little to admit that I’d all but stopped because it was feeling like an uphill struggle. But as I expressed my desire to focus on coaching, on doing more of what lights me up and the dream of starting my own podcast, I found myself uttering these words “it’s all a bit of a leap of faith really…” and then it hit me…
Learning to love the process (barf)
…finally I was doing it! I couldn’t get there with the leather for whatever reason but I could now see how the podcast was exactly that: a dream to create something meaningful, with no guarantee that it would ever lead anywhere or produce an income, yet an inexplicable feeling that somehow it was the right step and crucially, an ACCEPTANCE that I would be unattached to the outcome whatever happened.
So here I am, having now recorded 5 episodes and a trailer, enjoying myself as i play host to wonderful people and exchange ideas that I hope will spark many more for my listeners. And above all, I get it now. I don’t mind where this goes because it’s fun to try and I’m curious to pursue the feeling.
Where could you apply this to your own life?
Have you ever lived a moment like this? Is there something you’ve been putting off because you’re too scared it won’t work and too attached to the final outcome? Could you give yourself permission to just try and see where it goes, without the pressure of creating your life’s work or promise of any monetary return? There’s a lot to be said for enjoying the process, (another super cheesy cliché I struggled to digest without being sick in my own mouth). However, if you can find something that truly makes you feel alive, you genuinely won’t worry about the end result, you’ll just lose yourself in the joy of doing it!! If you accept this challenge, let me know! I’d love to hear what you’ve decided you can now allow yourself to experiment with and enjoy more, when you remove the pressure of the end result…
Zoe x
P.S
the boring bit – any items marked with an * are affiliate products. This means I love them so much, that I’d recommend them to a friend – that’s you btw. It’s true that I may gain a small financial contribution if you purchase through my links, (although let’s see if it works ’cause, to be frank, I’m as curious as you are)!! BUT anything you do buy will be of no extra cost to you and I genuinely only endorse the good stuff that I myself enjoy or find useful!